0311's Custom Exhaust Division is Open for Business

CWMC Chassis Engineering Division, Ardrossan, Ab: All Agents take note: 0311's passion for performance and quality is moving to the next level as he abandons his meaningless professional engineer status to persue his lifelong ambition of manufacturing custom exhaust systems out of bean cans and screw-style hose clamps of various diameters.

Another perfect repair.

  When his beloved Agency S.C.U.M.  Cruiser 1979 Volvo 245 (somehow not yet impounded by the police) started making enough racket to raise eyebrows and set off car alarms (see Banned Accessories in Agency Handbook) in posh car parks downtown, 0311 didn't just head for the nearest muffler shop, or worse, new-car dealership, he again took matters into his own hands and "...fixed that shit right up" in the time-honoured tradition.

  This latest in a long series of bean-can-do success stories owes so much to all the years 0311 spent honing his can-craft skills on a who's-who list of the worst cars ever employed by a still reasonably non-alcoholic professional.
  "This was a fairly straightforward downpipe upgrade," said 0311 today during a debriefing session held (as usual) at the Burger Baron on 75 street, "nothing as fancy as some of my earlier pieces, some of which entailed multiple

- layers of stacked repairs for optimum performance."

  The President was on hand during the process to offer moral support and administer bong hits as required to keep everything rolling along smoothly. After several revisions to the original plans had been drafted, checked, and signed, the actual work would continue well into the night, with several unavoidable stops for beer and drugs only fuelling the relentless drive for perfection.
  All Agents are encouraged to attend one of 0311's seminars on the subject of bean-can engineering solutions. A thorough and entertaining lecture is followed by some hands-on training time and, as usual, it all wraps up with some serious boozing to keep things friendly.