747's Top-Secret Facilite- Francaise, Ardrossan, Ab: With spring fast approaching, Agent 747 has again renewed his annual pledge to return his Agency Cruiser 1966 Citroen DS to the road this year, pending completion of the simple, straightforward reassembly process familiar to Citroen enthusiasts worldwide.
A mere 27 years after taking the car apart (2 businesses, 3 shops and 4 houses ago), Agent 747 is casually reassembling his own version of the car he completely dismantled in a fit of unparalleled optimism and idealistic niavite back in the days of viable Peugeot franchises and profitable Lada salesmanship. Draining a substantial savings account built up over years of curbing totalled Civics and Corollas (many with the President's signature patch 'n' splash body work), Agent 747 is closing in on what will be the most exhaustively re-engineered DS in Canada, featuring plenty of Johnny Cash-like "One Piece at a Time"-style upgrades. The DS is a car well-suited to mix 'n' match parts sourcing, especially when your yard is packed with the remains of at least a dozen D's of unknown origin and age. 747's Cruiser will fe
ature early-style dashboard, "frogeye" fenders with optional fogs, and a later DS-23 full leather interior, along with a rare 5-speed column-shift transmission from one of the last models. Even the President is Fully Terrified at the number of potential compatibility issues to be overcome. Just in case the project was becoming too simple, 747 has redesigned and built an entirely new wiring harness from scratch, using only a Yoda-like holistic vision of French electrics, and a lot of shrink-wrap.
ature early-style dashboard, "frogeye" fenders with optional fogs, and a later DS-23 full leather interior, along with a rare 5-speed column-shift transmission from one of the last models. Even the President is Fully Terrified at the number of potential compatibility issues to be overcome. Just in case the project was becoming too simple, 747 has redesigned and built an entirely new wiring harness from scratch, using only a Yoda-like holistic vision of French electrics, and a lot of shrink-wrap. The President's own DS, currently acting as a shelf for Ford parts, awaits the attention of Agent 747 in the hope that this 27-year schedule can be bumped up a bi
t in order to free up some workshop space for any one of the dozen or so pieces of shit still languishing in the cold storage bunker.
t in order to free up some workshop space for any one of the dozen or so pieces of shit still languishing in the cold storage bunker. "I guess I'll just try to remember where I put everything..." said the President in a brief phone interview from the Days Inn in Lloydminster, where another court-mandated trip to rehab is failing spectacularly as usual.
Updates to follow as they are declassified.
I looked at the picture of the wiring harness, and then my head exploded.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to remember to be conveniently away on holidays when the President's harness has to come together.
The President suspected as much. He suggests that 0311 is just a coward, and offers him the choice of fixing the wiring, or the hydraulics.
ReplyDeleteor the rust.