President's Latest Dodge is so Rough that its Roughness Can only be Estimated by Mathematics Geniuses at Somewhere Around D=1.53

CWMC Headquarters, Ardrossan, Ab: When the famous mathematician Dr Benoit Mandelbrot published his research dealing with fractal geometry and the measuring of roughness, he probably could not have predicted the number of useful applications for his theories in the field of Rusty Dodges in Fields.



Dr. Mandelbrot: Car guy for sure

  The seemingly simple application of his principal idea, wherein, as z->z^2+C (where C is any complex number) is iterated, graphing the resultant numbers on the complex plane (imaginary #'s on the Y-axis) will yield insight into all of the wonders of nature, and give most of us a bit of a headache.

  The dangerous combination of a very little bit of knowledge and a lot of time to kill has served several sensational purposes at CWMC, not the least of which is finally allowing Agents to quickly assign relatively accurate measures of roughness (D) to be used for estimating purposes. The real advantage with this new system is a level of objectivity that was simply not possible before this important work was developed. Now, instead of saying "That Dodge is rough as fuck", we can more precisely and with substantially less subjectivity proclaim that said Dodge has in fact a D value of, say, 1.53, or slightly rougher than the Himilayas.

  The renowned math-nerd Agent 0311 was happy to elaborate on another seemingly contra-dictory situation, proposing that "When you try to actually measure the distance between the wheels, depending on the length of the ruler you use, you will find that the length of the rusty "coastline" that used to be the rocker panel has begun to approach infinity, which is substantially more than the original 118 inches, and will make reproduction panels difficult to source."


It even looks like rust.

   As followers of the work of Dr. Mandelbrot et al will happily point out, The number of iterations required to send the graph vertical to infinity determines the colour of the point outside the bounded region. If so, the peach and red two-toning on the Dodge would seem to indicate that the whole project is pretty far outside the boundaries of good taste, both fiscally and physically.
 The President, not altogether convinced of the validity of fractional dimensions as a coachbuilding consideration, took a second to  "...point out to that Mandelbrot fella that most of his important work in the field of randomized shittyness, or whatever, was achieved in the years prior to 1960, when Bondo technology was still in its infancy. These gains, together with previously unimaginable advances in recreational pharmacology, have rendered this Dodge a viable entity, as my master's thesis proposed in Big Ugly Bumpers and the Future of Nanny Statism, published in 1973. So fuck off."
  All Agents are encouraged to sign up for remedial math lessons with Agent 0311, provided he isn't too loaded to give a shit.