Ardrossan, Ab: CWMC's Latest from the Boogie Van Division is being hailed by critics as "...a subtle, thought-provoking interpretation of classical themes; restrained, muted and graceful, betraying impeccable mastery of the form..."
Agents 644 & 688 commissioned Operation Urban Camo after being convinced by agent 0311 that it would be the only way to maintain a low profile while staying illegally in the country. Nicely done 0311!
Several agents were on the scene to help with various aspects of the Operation, from 533's airbrushed murals to 100013's wheels and stereo to 087's front tires. The President himself helped with the layout after a particularly hard absinthe-and-bong-hits marathon, needing only a little help with the straight lines.
All agents stay tuned for more tasteful metalflake-lace-candy-pearl updates from the Boogie Van Division.
I would like to thank CWM for my recently received agent status. Incredibly, all it took was 22 gallons of metal flake, candy paint, and gold pearl. Its surprising that more people aren't signing up!
ReplyDelete0311 word to the president:
ReplyDeleteI'm still waiting for my Sputnik/Kissinger/mushroom cloud business card.
I could be out drumming up boogie business.
Just sayin'.
The president is hard at work on new agent cards for all agents. 0644's agent status was assured when he handed over a perfectly good van and perfectly good money to waste on completely unnecessary "improvements". The President wholeheartedly endorses such reckless misappropriation of funding and wishes to express his sincere wish that others will follow Agent 0644's example and commission the Boogie Van Division to "work" on their Agency Units.
ReplyDeleteThis is just Van-fucking-tastic.
ReplyDeleteI assume that there will be a buxom mermaid riding a unicorn on the next one.
I understand and respect the need to remain discreet and fly under the radar so that no one suspects that you have four sets of valuable ballast resistors in the glove box.
The President fully endorses ballast resistor humour. All Agents are encouraged to reference ballast resistors several times daily in normal conversation. Agent 1080 will hold refresher classes on Tuesday evenings at Lean Burn Tech.
ReplyDelete1080 here....
ReplyDeleteGreat Improvements on the Tradesman CWMC its like a buffet of boogie van schemes in one. well done. can it do any sweet tricks???
Just a reminder to all Chrysler Based agents that fall is here and that means lots of cool wet weather..... so make sure all your orange box / ballast resistor wiring is clean tight and corrosion free, to prevent early morning stalling and fuck up's.
This month at Lean burn Tech we are offering an extra Tuesday evening class on Choke Computer Operation / preventative maintenance Dive deep into this exciting hands on program
And back by popular demand our charcol canister cleaning special is Back!!!
The President took the "Pull all the Smog Shit off your Big Block" course at LBT earlier this summer and encourages all Agents to sign up for these valuable training seminars.
ReplyDeleteSickly sweet candy-van!
ReplyDelete