Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Operation Versailles Set to Resume This Winter


CWMC French Luxury Car Division, Ardrossan, Ab: After a short half-year delay to collect the corporate nerves and brace up the financials for the inevitable thrashing, Operation Versailles is set to resume operations late this week with the President, like a great Pharaoh, optimistic that he may in fact live to see the finished product in time to be buried in it.
Funding failures, protocol disasters, wine shortages, you name it, it has befallen the FLCD many times before.
"We are almost used to zees kahnd of abuse," said an anonymous informant, scraping thick muck from some kind of long, bendy snarl of piping and double-pilot-sliding-semi-direct-proportioning height correctors, "we know the German Car Division is embezzling the money we had put aside for cheese, I mean parts, and using it for gas in their horrible, firm-riding, reliable, brick merde-houses."
With Agent 747 supplying the maintenance info, strange
tools, and squishy parts from his top-secret stash of esoterica Francaise, all that really stands in the way now is the other two hundred hours of welding needed to finish reconstructing the chassis, followed by several short years of rebuilding, repair, and reassembly.
"As long as its still really fast. " said the President in a rare fireside interview, apparently having forgotten what car he was talking about.

3 comments:

  1. 0311: That's what you call a nest of vipers. And worse, French vipers.

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  2. 0311 is just jealous because his Volvo only has 17 parts total and most of them are seat belts.

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  3. I think that first photo was of a refinery after a tornado strike.

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