Lean Burn Technologies, Cooking Lake AB: With the season well underway, Agent 1080 has decided that this year's President's Choicest Winter Beater of Distinction award belongs in his garage, even if the vehicle itself will not fit.
 |
| Last year's winner |
The President himself took a closely contested win last year in the Bluesmobile, but the sale of that unit left the door open for a fresh take on the annual battle of the beaters.
Not everyone would have short-listed the 1963 Fargo 5-ton cab-and-chassis while casually perusing the classifieds last week, but Agent 1080 knows that to win the coveted PCWBD takes some serious effort, and some lateral thinking. 18 inches of soft, fluffy snow is not really an obstacle for a vehicle with 22 inches of ground clearance and 40- inch tall rubber.
Agent 1080 does concede a few points against the Fargo 500. The 30-foot-long, 11000 lb vehicle is a bit tight when doing deliveries in downtown traffic, for instance, and the unsychronized 4-speed with split differential does not give the lightning-fast shifts that 1080 craves. The Fargo's top speed is a very un-1080-like 57 mph, thoroughly confirmed on an 18- hours-at-redline drive to pick up the unit from Calgary. The gasoline mileage, not normally something that crosses the minds of the agile but preoccupied corporate collective at LBT, can only be described as heartbreaking, and the bring-a-ladder entry-egress to the lofty cab is bound to induce some mild resentment starting the second or third time you have to make the climb. Manual steering, single (leaking) master cylinder brakes, and a manual-choked 318 poly-head V8 complete the experience in true Winter Warrior style.
With all this going for it, it wasn't hard to predict the inevitable seal of Full Presidential Endorsement for this latest adventure in snow-blind motoring, and to suggest that all Agents should start shopping now for next winter, if you think you know the magic combination of toughness and inappropriateness that secures this much-coveted prize. "I hope to see some more heavy-duty approaches to many future Operations..." said the President on Thursday, in a reflective mood following the arrival of his new double-percolated-whisky bong with optional wall-mount fixture.
That is some hard core winter commuter action. And I know a thing or two about hard core winter commuter action. Milk trucks, beetles with no heat, 30 year old Volvos, sure. But now 1080 had to go and raise the bar. I better start shopping.
ReplyDeleteThere's only one word for this situation: escalation.
ReplyDeleteNo Agency Cruiser can win the same award twice, so the President is looking forward to some pretty creative entries for next winter.
Who has the magic combo next year?
A Fiat x1/9?
Perhaps an early 50's Pontiac sedan?
Lets get to work.
With the Fail Of last years two winter choices (88 735i / 64 Imperial LeBaron) and bad vibes around this years stage 1 winter pick (79' magnum) the only thing left was somthing from the medium - heavy duty truck class for the 2nd stage of the 2011 winter season.
ReplyDeleteProving high class luxury has failed its back to 318 polys for me. Plus with 8 available forward gears I can never get bored of shifting.
1080
Does the cigarette lighter work? Previous winter beater winners have lacked that feature. On a more practical note I would expect that a 40 lb/hr fuel burn rate would at least equate to a warm cab. It is a WINTER beater after all. Some of 0311's attempts missed the mark on that most crucial of options. Heads up, air cooled cars are never good winter beaters.
ReplyDelete